26 May 2008

One weird thought

Have you ever woken up in the morning with one of your body parts hurting? You know you didn't stress it yesterday, yet it's sore and hurting! Well, I too have such mornings, not frequent but still I come across such mornings. I don't know what you think about your sore body part, but I like to think them as an act of other side of my personality! Yes, I wish I had MPD(Multiple Personality Disorder) :). He would be, everything I'm not. He could do everything that I can't. And he could do anything that I can't or couldn't when I should have. His name would be, ummmm, one heck of the name, hearing which my foes would tremble with fear. :P His name would be Aakrosh, wow! what a name! (Aakrosh's crude english translation would be Wrath).
So, my everyday's altercations would be extended and then made even-steven by Aakrosh, especially those where I would be on the receiving end, and those where I had to show the decency. Life would be simple for me, as Aakrosh would do everything I wish to have done, he would be my savior, my problem-eradicator. So it feels good when I think the soreness in the mornings is the result of my other half going out and levelling my unfinshed altercation. And it gives me immense satisfaction and confidence when I meet that person next time.
I told you all the good effects about MPD, now think about this. What if Aakrosh would do some horrendous mistake, say, kill somebody while equating my terms? You can't say he can't, cause I already told you he is a pile of arrogance, raw anger. So that would be bad, really bad!!!
In the end, moral of the story is, it's good to think about your other self when you have sore and hurt body in the mornings, but don't rear the idea of having one such Aakrosh in real, it may bite you in your backside before you know!

(One parting thought: I wonder how it would really feel to be the one affected with an MPD!!!)

PS: The idea to write this post was shamelessly picked up from some other creative work, yet I've tried spice up things all by my imagination and experiences.

25 May 2008

My abnormalities

After years of sporadic introspections, I have come to know, well, I have several abnormalities... :)
And I must say I have never tried to normalize them, for they've bailed me out of several dire circumstances and desperate situations. So these abnormalities have been blessing in disguise. You too might find several similarities, read on:

1. The sense of direction : This might be because of my ethnicity, I'm not sure. I feel this is because the way I learned to recognize directions. As I come from hills, all that I learned about directions was either up or down. :) Quite comical, but this is how it is. In hills, when you give directions to a certain location, either it has to be up or down from your relative position, and each place has it's own signature, that is, no two places are identical. So it easier for a person to have the picture of the direction to a place once he reaches. But in cities, woah! I find everything similar, I can't make much difference out of them. Now, here something comes handy when I travel, advertisement hoardings and shops' title boards. After staying so many years in cities, still I use this trick to track down the route to a given destination. But the problem arises when the hoarding changes or the shops' title boards are written in the language I can't read!

2. Left or right : I can't make out which side is left and which is right, the way people do. I have to think for a while, and then I conceive the idea of left and right. Sometimes(especially while in autoricksaws), by the time I sense which is left and which is right, the vehicle passes the given diversion. :)
So now a days, I've come point my hands towards the direction I need to go, don't think about left or right, sounds pretty crude, but serves my purpose!

3. Dreamless : This could be funny to those people who dream even during the days... :)
For me dreams are like oasis, a year has 365 days and I dream may be 5 to 6 times in a whole year. How I long to dream not to be mentioned here dreams, how I long to dream those wonderful, success story dreams.
The funny part is, I had to make up stories when I was in primary school, every friend of mine used to have a dream to tell, and I use to fake a dream!! Hardest part comes when my loved one says, she had seen me in dreams! Now what the hell should I say? If I say I don't dream, I might be tagged with a heartless adjective, and if I say even I had seen her in my dreams, it's an outright lie. I wont write here what I do in such situation. :)
P.S : I sleep like a hog. :)

4. Photographic memory : Lots of people find this abnormality similar to theirs, but I have twist in the tale. For me it's easier to remember what I read, what I hear, word by word. Sometimes my radar picks up the conversations not related to me in remotest sense and still makes me remember. I used to see the entire book, word by word(well, not exactly), during my examination. :)
But with this privilege, comes a disadvantage, I forget things quickly, and pretty quickly. Good part is I still remember the essence/gist of what a particular sentence meant.

So far they have helped me in some way or other. So I would conclude it's better to have abnormalities if you use them in good effect.

22 May 2008

A moron and his dilemma

Well, here I'm again, at your service, for the second time in a day. You must be wondering whether I'm nuts. My answer is NO, I'm not. But, I'm hurt, by seeing the people, who matter, acting like one mentally off-balanced freak. Yes you read it right, Mentally off-balanced freak!
You must be thinking why I'm fuming, well, see the excerpts of the blog written by a very renound personality, here it goes:

blah blah blah blah

Shahrukh is licking my feet and I am feeding him biscuits every now and then. What more can I ask for?

Now, before you jump to any conclusions let me add that Shahrukh is the name of our dog. And before you jump to any further conclusions let me add that I had nothing to do with naming him. In fact Shahrukh is the dog of the caretakers of our house. When I bought this house it came with the caretakers and their dog! Apparently Shahrukh (the actor) was shooting for a commercial in this house a few years ago, and that very day the caretakers bought a pup…, and named him Shahrukh. What are the chances of me buying a house which comes with a dog called Shahrukh!!!

blah blah blah blah

Well Shahrukh is once again begging for my attention, so let me get back to him. He is smelling too much, I think he needs a bath. “Heel boy, heel.”

Well, this gentleman is Aamir Khan, the very cute, shy-looking, versatile actor and heart-throb of millions. Now, you must be thinking I'm a ardent SRK fan. No I'm not, don't get surprised, I said I'm not a great fan of SRK the actor, but I love SRK the person, SRK the brand, SRK the entrepreneur. He may be acting(over-acting to be precise) in the movies a tad too much, yet he has his charm, his aura and his brains when it comes to handling the situation. I've never heard SRK trying to hog the limelight, never read/heard making cat-calls to other actors. I've seen him as a thorough gentleman. I simply hate to read/hear such thoughtless crap that Aamir has thrown all over his blog, what a moron he is.
This reflects how much insecure, envious and unpopular Aamir is! I feel he did this just because he wanted public attention. People say, when you don't achieve something by playing within the rules of the game, play dirty. That's what this imbecile, half-witted idiot has done. He says: "Well Shahrukh is once again begging for my attention", I say fuck off, it is showing who's begging for attention, for this is not the first time he has maligned SRK's name. Few months earlier, news channels were flashing news about Aamir saying he's number one and SRK is number two, SRK obliged, rightly so(I too feel Aamir is a better actor). But digging the old shit again, will surely smell foul. I find this whole saga of utterly bad taste and all these utter nonsense simply screams one thing: Aamir Khan is one low-laid, attention seeking moron!
PS: I don't have any personal grudges against Aamir Khan, and his latest Movie, TZP was a treat to watch, that makes him a succeeded-in-the-first-time director. But what's the use, when he doesn't attend award functions to be felicitated. I would have banned him from film fraternity, had I been a power-broker in the industry. ;)

More sports update

Wow! What a night I had! Staying till 0315 Hrs in the morning didn't go in vain. One absolute rocker of the game!
Well, for those morons who don't know what I'm talking about, it's much awaited Champion's League final showdown between the two giants of English Premier League, Manchester United Vs Chelsea. They headed the EPL charts and also the Champion's League table.
It was only few days back, Manchester United became the English Champions with a narrow margin, 2 points to be precise and Chelsea, the second. Similar fate awaited for Chelsea in Moscow. Chelsea is good side but Manchester is superior. Avid Chelsea fans wont like to believe it, but well, that's the truth, otherwise the results wouldn't be lying.
This Champion's League final once again proved why Ronaldo is best player around, for he was the one who started the scoring in mid-first half. Frank Lampard balanced the equation in the dying minutes of first half. One thing I want to mention here, I never rate Frank Lampard as best of the players, he's just been over-hyped!
Second half couldn't break the dead-lock, and the thirty minutes of extra-time too was unfruitful, except Didier Drogba getting a Red card, for slapping Owen Hargreaves(I think, pardon my carelessness, I was feeling very sleepy then! :) ).
And then the penalties happened, Petr Cech saved the third penalty from Ronaldo and John Terry threw away the eufa cup by shooting his chance outside the net. So finally it came to sudden-death, Ryan Giggs converted his chance and Edwin Van Der Sar saved Nicholas Anelka's shot. At the end, it was ManU 6 and Chelsea 5 in penalties.
It's ManU all the way in Europe.

12 May 2008

Airtel going Vodafone way

First it was Vodafone and now it's Airtel who has come up with the same promises made by the Vodafone and seems Airtel is quicker to do it.
In my previous post, I had said Vodafone is tying up with Apple to bring i-phone to indian market by the end of 2008, but now Airtel has promised to do the same but the timelines are nearer, that is, around Diwali this year(Check the full article here).
These two biggies are playing each other down for tapping the huge indian customer base. First Airtel dropped the STD tariffs to Rs. 1.50, immediately Vodafone played its cards by announcing the same, but charges lesser than Airtel by Rs. 0.20.
While these two biggies are playing each other down, somebody is smiling.... and that's you, the happy customer.

07 May 2008

Are you smarter than a 8th grader?

Hi all, now that SRK's Kya aap paanchwi pass se tez hai has already kicked off... Here is your chance to prove that you are better than those who get selected for the competition. So folks, jump in and show how much you score...

PS: Don't forget to write your result in the post comments.

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

06 May 2008

i-phone coming your way

Finally the news is out. If an article in the Times of India is to be believed, the day isn't far away, when gizmofreaks in India would be using the authentic, unjailbroken version of i-phone in 2009. Vodafone is set to bring it in the indian market.
I was planning to go for the i-pod touch, now I guess it'll be better to wait till 2008-end and go for the i-phone.
Thank god finally something good is happening :).

Humour : the brand new section

Okie, here comes another addition to my repertoire of variety of posts. I call this one the Humour. In this section, I'll add those incidents(fictitious or non-fictitious) that'll tickle you funny bone. The content however may not be entirely original, still I'll try my best to give it my originality.
Here goes the first one.

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the
stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights
go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and
said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow
turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

Dsez: Sometimes we miss trivial facts, even though we know it, we can't recollect it, or say, we don't try to recollect it.
Keep your fundamental knowledge right before you run towards bigger things!

05 May 2008

Couldn't think of a good title

I've completely lost the track of the time now a days. The change in project, my evil intention, my hard-work to see my evil intention get through, IPL and Champion's League... all sums up to one sentence, I really have lost the track, or rather, I'm running in a different lane!
Different late-night ToI sessions have drained me. Moving and start working immediately into a new project hasn't helped much. Feels like I've become the epitome of a cheap-labor, or you can say a synonym for Big Bazaar(remember their punchline? "Is se sasta aur achcha kaha milega?"). How dearly I wish my evil intentions to be true soon, sadly that hasn't happened till date. So I'm still trying.
And there's Champions' League and IPL. In second semi-final's second leg between, Chelsea and Liverpool, Chelsea got through after a 4 - 3 aggregate. They were deadlocked in the first leg at Anfield(Liverpool's home) 1 - 1, courtesy Jon Arnie Riise's own goal in the dying seconds of the match. It was always goign to be a herculean task for (my favorites) Liverpool to register a win at Stamford Bridge(Chelsea's home ground). And my fear become true as Drogba muscled in, tearing the Liverpool defence to hit nets twice. It was a well fought battle, and scoreline read 3 - 2 after 120 minutes of play, as 90 minutes of play couldn't decide the better team. Babel's goal from near-centre was a treat to watch, but as commentator said, it came a bit late. Finally it'll be Chelsea Vs Manchester United in all English European League final at Moscow.
Enough of Europe, coming back to India, now a days there's a craze called IPL prevalent in Indian heat, spreading like wildfire, catching everybody's attention. The strongest teams, Chennai Super Kings and Kolkata Knight Riders have bitten the dust, after successive losses. Team Chennai is clearly showing how Australians had dominated the initial part of this inaugural IPL edision. I guess Dhoni must be finding it hard to pull back his teams act together, but still he has to do it, and do it faster.
Controversy looming around the captain's head, Kolkata Knight Riders too are well below their standards. Frankly, has Sourav Ganguly ever shied away from controversy? I think he isn't an apt leader for T20s, hasn't led from front and this is showing in the group-standings. Now that Shoaib Akthar has been cleared to play, it may boost their morale.
Rajasthan Royals have always brought something new to IPL everytime, latest being Asnodkar, looking him play, one surely agree : Dynamites indeed come in small packages. What a man, I'm impressed, though not very much refined and may fall against quality pace attack, yet a talent worth your money! They are looking very good side, after Smith's arrival, their top-order has gained more ground. And Sohail Tanvir is troubling the batsmen like never before, I'm sure Parthiv Patel, didn't see the ball coming, I can bet on that.
Okie then, Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs King XI Punjab is on the cards today, I seriously want Bangalore to win this one.